Fashion is part of your identity. And footwear is a big part of fashion. A person’s footwear says a lot about themselves, whether it be shoes or slippers.

You need a pair of slippers if you live in Hawaii. The weather is too hot and humid for someone to wear shoes daily. If you grew up in Hawaii like me, you know how much of an impact slippers are on us. I wear slippers 90% of the time, and they say a lot about who I am and where I come from. 

Here’s my take on what your slippers — or, let’s be real, they’re slippahs — say about you.

Locals are pretty cherry. They are probably the most affordable, costing around $6-$18. If you have Locals, you are one of two types of people. First, you are the most moke (Native) Hawaiian uncle who cruises at the beach every day. Your slippers are most likely ancient and are so worn they curve like bananas. Second, you are the Asian grandma or aunty who wears your Locals inside the house. Your slippers look brand new yet you’ve had them for over five years, and a side note … no one goes hungry at your house. Locals are sturdy rubber slippers that should last you a while, as long as you don’t run them too hard.

If you wear Jesus slippers (typically brown or black and similar to slides except they have two straps going across the top of the foot), you are one of two types of people. First, you are most likely under the age of 25. You probably are at Waikiki walls or Waimea Bay doing suis and manus into the water. You also wear red, yellow, and green shorts a lot. Your Jesus slippers are worn out, and they have probably been with you longer than your girlfriend or boyfriend. If you wear Jesus slippers, you are probably a titah or a tomboy. You probably never played with dolls as a child and your dad is one hammah. 

The OluKai slippers are the Gucci of slippers in Hawaii. These are boujee and expensive at $60-$80. You only bust these out on special occasions such as luaus, graduation parties, church, weddings (as an attendee, not one of the bridal party), and business casual. If you have these slippers, you most likely are a wealthy haole who visits Hawaii three times a year or a lifeguard who gets a discount. 

Crocs have made a huge comeback. If you have recently purchased white Crocs, this could mean that you hop on trends and you always have to be involved with what’s “in” at all times. If you have camouflage Crocs, you are probably a fisherman or a hunter, or both. You love to be outdoors and are probably from the west side. If you have any other color Crocs, then you only chose those to be “different” and you probably dress to impress others. If your Crocs are in sport mode all the time, or if you take the time to bedazzle your Crocs with personalized jibbitz, then you need to grow up. If you wear socks and Crocs, you are for sure an athlete. 

When I think of Birkenstock, I think of a Caucasian blonde girl who wears a ponytail and holds her Hydro Flask in hand at all times. I also get a hiker vibe from people who wear these. Though, there is a small group of people who genuinely wear these for comfort. 

Hawaii runs (literally) on slippers. They’re the great unappreciated footwear in the world and I don’t understand why. There is no shame in rocking your bare toes in public.