Being a first-generation student is hard. I have a massive amount of support from my family, but being that I am the first to go to college, they never understood what I needed as a college student.
My first year of college was during COVID-19, and they expected me to help around the house and with my family members since I was always home. This left me with barely any time at home to do my work. On top of that, I had this enormous weight on my shoulders to be that perfect child, make my parents proud, and be a role model for my younger siblings.
As first-generation students, we have no stepping stools to help guide us through college; we must start at the bottom and learn to climb on our own.
According to Bank Rate, only 20% of first-generation college students completed their degrees, compared to 60% of those who had at least one parent with a bachelor’s degree. I am within that 20%, and as much of a struggle as it is, I knew I needed to break the cycle and be the first to graduate with my degree.
When I began my college journey in high school, it was a rough start. I was unsure how to apply for schools and to fill out my FAFSA. My first thought was to go to my family for help, but to my surprise, everyone I asked was unsure what to do and where to start.
I realized I had to do this independently, and running to my family for help was out the window. I turned to researching online and contacting college counselors for guidance with my college process. The thought of college started to make me feel discouraged because I felt so alone in this process. I began to doubt if I should even go to college at all.
“Just because school wasn’t for your sister doesn’t mean it’s not for you. School IS for you, so you need to do it,” my dad, Duke Mahiai, told me in May 2020 after I asked him if I could take a gap year after graduating high school.
My parents have always supported me in going to college and pushed me to continue my education. Although they were supportive, it stressed me out. They had a high presumption that I would go to college and finish. I would be the first to graduate from a university from both my mom’s and my dad’s side. The burden of carrying the family on my shoulders grew.
Fast forward, and I am now in my senior year at Chaminade University.
It was very challenging these past few years. I ended up having to split my college and family life entirely to be able to do both. I’m a student at school, and everything is strictly focused on my work. When I go home, I’m an older sister and daughter that’s an extra helping hand. I had to separate the two because it was impossible to do school at home and to deal with home at school.
I have learned from many experiences these last few years and had to learn most of them the hard way. When it came to scheduling classes for the semester, I did it by myself before learning I had a college counselor who could help me. I slowly learned that there are numerous resources that we have access to as students on campus. The one tool I wish I had used more often from the start was asking questions.
If I had asked more questions, I would have known sooner that all my answers and success were right in front of me. I just needed to ask.
It was hard for me to separate my school and family life fully. I wanted them to be a part of every step I took on campus so they could understand what it was like in college. In the end, it was best to keep school at school and home at home.
I have become accustomed to living my separate lives. I have learned to appreciate the struggles I went through because now I can be a guide to my younger siblings.
In the end, my dad was right. School is for me, and I’ll be graduating soon, but this time, I’m doing school more for myself and dropping all that weight off my shoulders.