Opinion: No Shame In Saving Myself For Marriage

I’m a 22-year-old college graduate and I’m saving myself for marriage. I’m very comfortable in my skin, date fairly regularly, and love love, but having sex before marriage is something I’m not interested in participating in. 

In our current society, hook-up culture has gained popularity. Sex is a concept now seen as something so casual, and in some cases, expected when dating. When people hear that I’m saving myself for marriage, they’re stunned and they almost can’t believe it. I’m saving myself because I want to,  I’m saving myself because I only want to share that experience with my husband. I’m saving myself because I made that promise to God. 

I grew up in a strict Catholic household where I attended private Catholic school my entire academic life from kindergarten to college. My faith plays a large part in my identity. I remember being taught in high school that sex is something that should only be experienced in the context of marriage. To outsiders, that may seem ludicrous and or that I have been “brainwashed”, but I couldn’t agree more with that teaching. Sex not only physically binds two people together, it can spiritually and emotionally attach people together. I don’t want to put myself in a situation like that with someone who I’m not in love with and don’t plan to have a future with. 

I’m not a total prude. I know sex is good! God created sex! I appreciate the fact that we’re wired to be intimate creatures. It’s a beautiful aspect of being human. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, close to 90% of people who’ve ever been married said they have had premarital sex. Sex is very normal, but a lot of damage can be done with having sex outside of marriage, such as unplanned pregnancies and “soul ties” (a connection with someone that is deeply embedded into your soul), and that is a territory I do not wish to enter. 

I have been questioned by my close friends about my decision. I have a few friends that are sexually active and always suggest to me that I should “just do it” because everyone else is doing it. They think I’m too serious and should let loose since I’m young. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I have come close to succumbing into their peer pressure and considered being intimate with a special guy I was dating, but I have not let those outside voices shake my core values. 

I’ve also come across numerous guys who suddenly disappear from the face of the earth once they find out I plan to remain celibate until marriage. At first, it hurt my feelings and made me discouraged to date. I now have a whole new mindset when I get ghosted by guys after revealing my decision. I’m thankful when it happens because it shows me their true intentions. It saves my time, energy, and allows me to be open and available for the right person to come into my life. I know my future husband will honor my decision during our dating period. If the guy I’m dating isn’t respecting my wishes and my faith and is only interested in me for his own personal pleasures, then he is not the one for me and I am more than okay with letting him go. 

I’m not trying to bash or judge other people for their sexual choices in life. It’s your body, your life. Do what makes you happy. Saving myself for marriage is fundamentally about fulfilling God’s commands and thereby honoring Him. After all, I was designed to glorify Him. I view sex as something that is beautifully sacred and only wish to experience that powerful connection with my husband.