Opinion: ‘Parasite’ Rules 2020 Oscar Ceremony With Weird Moments Throughout

 I am excited to be sharing my experience watching the 92nd Academy Awards. I should point out a few caveats before I go into the diary, there are a few films (“The Irishman,” “Little Women” and “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood”) that I wasn’t able to see before Sunday’s award ceremony. But I love the movies, and working in the theater this past year has allowed me to appreciate them even more.

With that being said, let us begin our 3-hour journey through this year’s greatest films.

3:00 p.m. (HST) — Starting off with a little musical number with “It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” honoring my main man Tom Hanks.

3:02 p.m. — As a theater guy, I am really enjoying this number by Janelle Monae and Billy Porter. I am digging the costumes, but I thought this was the Oscars, not the Tonys.

3:05 p.m. — Um, yeah, this performance is getting a little out of hand; everyone is lying down. I will say that this was more interesting than “The Irishman.”

3:09 p.m. — Chris Rock with “The Irishman” joke in the opening monologue got me good. (“I loved the first season of ‘The Irishman.’)

3:14 p.m. — Brad Pitt takes Best Supporting Actor, although I haven’t seen “Once Upon a Time …”, probably because I wasn’t a fan of his work in “Ad Astra.”

3:15 p.m. — Looks like Pitt is getting a little emotional. Who knew Mr. Smith had emotions?

3:23 p.m. — The toys are back! “Toy Story 4” took Best Animated Feature Film. It was the sequel we didn’t need, but it was great to see my favorite toys, which I grew up loving and made my life an adventure.

3:25 p.m. — “Hair Love” takes Best Animated Short Film. This short film was one that hit hard with me. It brought back memories of me and my father growing up, so I am glad to see they got it.

3:27 p.m. — Great to see Kobe got some representation to an extent in the show. In 2018, he became the first NBA athlete to win an Oscar with his animated short film “Dear Basketball.”

3:29 p.m. — Adele Dazeem (Idina Menzel to everyone but John Travolta) looks stunning in that dress, but they missed a huge opportunity with having her perform  “Frozen 2’s” “Into the Unknown” while wearing an Elsa costume.

3:30 p.m. — That woman singing on the staircase is starting to freak me out, or is that just me?

3:32 p.m. — Forget the song “Seasons of Love.” It’s all about seasons of Elsa.

3:36 p.m. — There he is, the man, the myth, the legend … the one and only Keanu Reeves. He will always will be John Wick.

3:40 p.m. — “Parasite” takes home Best Original Screenplay, the very first Oscar for South Korea. I have a feeling that we will be seeing more of “Parasite” throughout the show.

3:42 p.m. — Who is the guy wearing the track suit standing next to my girl Natalie Portman?

3:45 p.m. — Taika Waititi takes Best Adapted Screenplay. “Jojo Rabbit” was a hilarious film and deserved the award.

3:48 p.m. — Oh yeah, I haven’t watched any live action short films so … congrats.

3:56 p.m. — The set designers for “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” look like Miss Darbus from “High School Musical.”

3:58 p.m. — Now we have reached the part of the show where they try to find ways to keep the average viewer from turning the channel.

4:01 p.m. — I had no idea that Chrissy Metz was a singer. She is great in “This Is Us,” and her performance of “I’m Standing With You” was pretty exceptional.

4:13 p.m. — Not a huge documentary guy, so I guess I’ll just put on “The Irishman” for the time being.

4:15 p.m. — Mahershala Ali announces Best Supporting Actress. I can’t wait to see him take on the mantle of Blade the Vampire Hunter in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

4:18 p.m. — Laura Dern’s performance in “Marriage Story” was incredible. That role was made for her, and she killed it.

4:26 p.m. — Seeing Lin-Manuel Miranda brings a smile to my face. He innovated the theater industry with the rap/hip-hop genre. (Note: It was just announced this week that “Hamilton” with all of the original cast will be released in movie theaters on Oct. 15, 2021.)

4:30 p.m. — Eminem appeared from the ground was epic. Time to rap about mom’s spaghetti.

4:32 p.m. — A standing ovation for the king of rap. Yes he got older but his rap game didn’t.

4:38 p.m. — “Ford vs Ferrari” takes home Best Sound Editing. This was the last film by 20th Century Fox. Glad there is some love for a company that is no more.

4:42 p.m. — Randy Newman playing music from “Toy Story 4” brings back memories from my childhood.

4:52 p.m. — There was no way “1917” wasn’t going to win the Cinematography category. The fact that they had to film in it in such a way that made it look like it was done in one take was incredible.

5:00 p.m. — Tom Hanks is truly a national treasure. He has played a huge role in my life, and I am glad that he is still out there working, bringing smiles to everyone around the world.

5:10 p.m. — Maybe this is just me, but the show is starting to get boring. They need to have a host next time because it is not as entertaining as it should be.

5:12 p.m. — Oh god … it’s the attack of the furries!

5:14 p.m. — Even though the Avengers defeated Thanos, they still couldn’t beat the greatness of “1917.”

5:25 p.m. — I called it, I knew we would see “Parasite” again. This is an incredible film, and the fact that it wasn’t even done here in the States is unprecedented.

5:28 p.m. — Elton John’s performance is classic Elton. His purple suit with the cherry red grand piano is something that only John would think of putting together.

5:39 p.m. — Can we just get on with the awards instead of this orchestra performance please. I’m starting to fall asleep here …

5:42 p.m. — It’s about time that the “Joker” gets some love. The score of the film was new and refreshing to hear.

5:46 p.m. — Wow Elton was able to beat “Toy Story 4” and “Frozen 2” for Best Original Song. This man is a legend.

5:52 p.m. — The Koreans are taking over the Oscars tonight. There was no question that “Parasite” wouldn’t have won Best International

6:00 p.m. — What a touching tribute to those who have passed. Although, I am not sure how I feel about Billie Eilish’s hair. It looked like highlighter ink was poured all on the top of her hair.

6:07 p.m. — Joaquin Phoenix very much deserves the award of Best Actor. His performance as Joker was so believable. Whenever I see him, all I can picture is his fragile Joker.

6:17 p.m. — There should be a drinking game for Renee Zellweger’s acceptance speech. Every time she goes “um” or “uh,” take a shot.

6:26 p.m. — It is official: the Koreans have taken over this year’s Oscars! “Parasite” makes history as the first foreign-language film to win Best Picture. I said it in the beginning … “Parasite” was going to win numerous awards tonight and they deserve everything they won.