Short Men Need Not Apply
The struggle of dating can be a challenge when you’re a 6-3 woman living in the state with the shortest men in the country. Photo courtesy of Kim Baxter.
When going to college, I thought about the location, school, volleyball team. But it went over my head to think about the average height of males where I was moving. But I should have taken note, because being a 6-foot-3 woman, I am most comfortable dating someone who is 6-foot-2 or taller. This, in the state with the shortest men in the country, is a challenge.
I have tried being with a shorter guy, and it sank like the Titanic. He was a great guy. He had a nice smile, dressed well, had his life together, but he was a relatively short 5-11. At the time, I let it slide until he went to kiss me. He kissed my chin. At that moment I experienced feelings of laughter, humiliation, and manliness. I vowed that I would date someone above 6-foot.
Reading this you may accuse me of being shallow. But after my experience of dating shorter, I finalized that I want a man taller than me.
When I go to do the simplest of errands, like shopping for milk, it feels as if I am a walking exhibit at a museum. People are not nice, they stare, make comments, try to take a quick picture, or sometimes laugh. So, the last thing I want is to date someone who enhances the laughs, glares, and sly remarks.
Height is a blessing and a curse. When I go into crowds, I hunch so I don’t block people’s view, I say sorry uncontrollably when trying to find my seat at a game, when taking pictures I automatically go to the back so the height is even in the pictures, and when I am in a bar I find the nearest seat to sit down in so I am eye-level height with my friends.
My whole life I have been the “big girl,” and the last feeling I want in a relationship with my significant other is to be the “bigger” one in the relationship. Being an above-average height gives off automatic masculinity, whereas, when dating a taller man, it gives the sense of safety, comfort, and normality.
“I love your masculine body,” I was once told by a 5-6 drunk girl.
Some people can make height a sort of fetish. Many people stare or come up to me just to talk about my height. Shorter men will come up to me and say, “I just want to know what it’s like to be with a tall girl.” Height can be dehumanizing because that’s all people see and automatically put stereotypes to it.
Don’t get me wrong; I love my height and I am thankful for all it has given me, but it can lead to interesting and unwelcoming situations. I worked security at a bar in San Diego over this past Christmas break, and about every night a man would come up and tell me how fantasized he was with my height; the guy was always at least 5 inches shorter than me.
“Date shorter guys Brooke. He may be short but he could still be a good guy,” says my Mom every time I bring up boy troubles.
When people see a taller girl with a shorter guy, they typically point it out, laugh, and then comment on how unnatural that is. I stand there and laugh with them until I realize that one day that could be me. I tell myself love is love, no matter his height. As long as he’s taller than me.