The Truth Behind Relationships

Roses are red, violets are blue, tables turn, bridges burn, you live and you learn.

Ellissa Bio

Roses are red, violets are blue, tables turn, bridges burn, you live and you learn.

By Ellissa Bio, Staff Writer

In a sea of people, we are all on different paths to finding love. There are relationship people who wait or abstain for Mr. or Mrs. Right, there are almost relationship people who date or settle for “no strings,” and there are single lovers who want absolutely no emotion whatsoever. No one wants to be categorized, but these types of relationships do exist, and we are not so different from one another. Whether it takes waiting, wishing, or the unexpected to happen, love happens.

For those who want a relationship, they know not to get hurt. They date, they go home, and then they date again. It’s all one huge test until feelings kick in and one is left vulnerable or off guard. There is no sound balance. In 2016, people don’t like each other equally and start dating. Instead, what usually happens is one person will like the other more and soon after a huge game of chase will begin. There are rules for texting, calling, and flirting; it goes on. All of which usually stops when the jealousy card kicks in. No girl or guy wants to see one of their attractive prospects taken over by another, so they either jump or they give up. It’s this leap of faith that either puts one in a relationship or back at square one, emotionally unavailable.

Then there is the more-than-friends-but-far-from-an-official-relationship card. This person is still single but exclusive to one person only. This is how we date in 2016. “Almost” relationships require navigating unchartered territory through the confusing, gray area of “what are we.” While this journey can result in heartbreak and miscommunication, it can also give you the ride of your life. Despite the bad rep that “almost” relationships get, there are some things about them that are actually pretty awesome. Partners can do whatever they want, hence the “no strings” rule. They don’t have to worry about their significant other getting angry over a wild night of fun spent with your single girlfriends or drunk, rowdy guy friends. Decisions are purely up to that person—they are free without unnecessary baggage.

Also, one has time and space to focus on his or herself instead of focusing on a “we.” A little bit of alone time is always essential for allowing one to focus on their own wants and needs. Relationships tend to put certain expectations on each person, which can lead to disappointment if the other person doesn’t fulfill these standards. “Almost” relationships are often the perfect opportunity for love without the expectations from society, friends, and even one’s self. They can take things slow with time to figure out what you actually want. Things can go at a comfortable pace, without any rush toward a serious relationship or marriage. The bottom line is that in an “almost” relationship, the person who matters most is you. Relationships can sometimes take away from focusing on your own individual wants and needs. Focusing on yourself, first and foremost, will allow you to be better in any relationship, even in an “almost” turned real relationship.

Now, the low of all lows, what it means to be a single. One will shut all opportunity out the door or fool around for fun. Either way this kind of pride will never allow ones’ self to be open to love. Men will typically do this, getting all the hate and harsh criticism when it comes to the way they navigate interactions and relationships with women–hence the millennial creation of the “a one-night stand.” But trust me, there are girls that carry the same motto. While it’s easy to spot a “player” by his classic looks and charm and surfboard, girls with game are a little harder to identify.

Luckily here are some characteristics as a 2016 guide to find out if she is a player:

**When she goes MIA, aka ghosting.
**When read receipts say she read your text, but she doesn’t respond for a few hours.
**When she’s not into the person who cares, but she’s into the one who just wants to hit it and quit it.
**When you take her on a date, and she leaves with someone else.
**When she wears athletic clothes, but doesn’t go to the gym.
**When you have feelings for her, but never told her. Too late, she’s already hooked up with one of your “brothers.” What a classic case of Eskimo siblings.
**When she never texts first.

These are all valuable lessons for people to carry in the future, for one could have many relatable experiences. Relationships are complicated for everyone and not all times do we know what they mean. The fear of possibly getting hurt or feeling a sense of vulnerability is scary, but sometimes a risk people aren’t willing to take.